A Renewed Commitment

In 2005, my husband and I began a friendship with a couple who was new to our church. They were close to our age, had children about the same ages as ours, and had been married for as long as we had. Best of all, they shared our Christian faith, something that not many of our friends at the time did.

My husband and I were married in January 2000. This couple said I Do in May 2000. As we got to know each other more, I discovered that she had a lot of regrets about her wedding. Oh, not so much about the marriage—she was happy and as in love with him as the day they exchanged vows. But she felt like she had been cheated out of the wedding she wanted. Her mother-in-law tends to be—how can I put this nicely?—somewhat domineering. This was her only son, her only child, getting married, and she had a picture in her mind of what his wedding should be. He was not good at standing up to Mom, no matter what the woman he loved said, so instead of this bride getting the wedding of her dreams, she got the wedding of her mother-in-law's dreams. This led to a lot of issues with her husband and a lot of resentment toward her mother-in-law. I suggested to my friend that she might want to consider renewing her wedding vows. That way, she could plan out the wedding she always wanted and maybe move past some of her regrets. She liked the idea, but she didn't want to do it alone. She talked to her husband and I talked to mine, and we agreed to renew our vows together in March, 2010—six weeks before her 10^th anniversary and 6 weeks after mine.

The plan sort of fizzled out. The other couple began to attend a new church, and we sort of drifted apart. Still, my husband and I thought that renewing our vows was a perfect way to celebrate our 10^th anniversary. At one point, we even reserved our church for the day after our anniversary. But that was all of the planning that we did. This past Sunday, the pastor asked my husband if we still wanted to do it. Hubby came home and asked me, and I said yes. Even though things are not perfect right now (as if any marriage ever is truly perfect), I think that renewing our vows is a good idea. It will affirm to each of us that we are with the person God wants us to be with, and it reaffirms our commitment to make this marriage last.

It will not be a huge lavish party. We are going to invite a few friends and our family to watch the ceremony and share cake and punch with us afterward. I am really looking forward to it, and I thank God for giving us the chance to do this and to spend our lives together.