The Love Dare starts off with a warning. The authors state right up front that it is not something to be taking lightly. Taking this dare is taking a chance.
I didn't fully believe that until I got into doing it.
This book is NOT for the faint-hearted! If you think you are perfect and that the problems in your marriage are all because of your spouse, you need this book.
Only it is those who truly need it that will have the hardest time with it.
Have you seen the movie Fireproof? I did, and I'll be honest about my motivation to see it: Kirk Cameron. Like many my age, he was my first celebrity crush. Of all the crushes that have come and gone sense, Kirk is the one I am not ashamed to admit to! He is funny and entertaining to watch. And from all reports, he is a good guy. Many "child stars of the 80's" have battled addictions that have taken their lives. The same can be said for Kirk. Only his addiction has not ended his life—it has enhanced it. Kirk isn't addicted to alcohol or drugs or women. His addiction is to Christ. Man, that is one I wish more in Hollywood would catch!
But I digress. When I heard that a movie with a Christian message was about to be released, I was intrigued. When I heard that Kirk Cameron would be staring in the movie, I knew I needed to see it. The more I heard about the film, the more anxious I became. I figured it would be a good movie to see with my husband.
I did not figure it would change my life.
Through the movie, Kirk's character grows up and learns how to save his marriage. He does this with the aid of a gift from his father—a book called The Love Dare. After seeing the film, I wanted to get my hands on a copy of that book. My husband and I had been married for nearly nine years when the movie came out. Were they nine good years? Yeah, I guess. Could they have been better? Definitely! I thought the book would be a great way of making our next years together happier, more full, and much better than the first few.
Apparently, I was not the only one who wanted the help of this book, as Stephen and Alex Kendrick, the men behind the movie, wrote The Love Dare and made it available to the public.
I bought the book and began working through the 40 day journey. My thought was that my husband and I could both do this, and that he would see how impossible life is with a pig-headed husband such as he is and would make changes in his heart. Those changes he would make, I knew, would make our marriage oh so much stronger.
I DID NOT expect to read the book and find out that I was the pig-headed spouse who needed to make changes! It made me uncomfortable enough that I put the book aside and didn't finish.
Nearly a year later, I picked it up again. I decided to blog about my journey through The Love Dare. Things got tough again. I could feel myself changing and see how our marriage was evolving as a result. But I got to a point where it was painful, almost physically so, to keep up with the blog. Did I really want my personal thoughts, feelings, and failures to be made public on the web? So I kept up with it in private.
I've worked through a lot of those struggles. While I still don't feel comfortable sharing every little thing, I think it is best to share some. I'm typing up my hand-written journals and posting them once again to my blog. My hope is that this helps other wives and husbands see the issues in their own marriages and in their own hearts, and find hope for change. Has reading this book made me a perfect wife? Um, not. Not even close. I have a long way to go yet, and I know it. I've started working on The Power of a Praying Wife so that I can better hear what God is telling me needs to change in my life. Do I still think my husband needs to change? YES! But I have also realized that I cannot force those changes. The best that I can do is change me and pray that God shows him what needs to change.
And pray that God teaches me how to live with the things I want my husband to change that God thinks are perfect as they are!
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